John Jacob Jingle Hymer Shmit? Nigga, who named theyre kid that?? I bet whoeva named thier kid John Jacob jingle hymer shmit goes to da knitting club wit hiz gramma wile listenin to soft country pop in his lil mini cooper wile he drives da speed limit to be safe. I bet he wears hiz seatbelt an always watchez fer padestrians. His numba 1 idol is hanna montanna and he always has da best of bolth worlds wen he goes to knit pink sweaters wit hearts and jewels on dem.